Sunday, June 22, 2008

Any ad with the words spit, impervious, and hacksaw is worth a read

Giant root ball from an indestructable superman plant

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-22, 9:30AM PDT

When I moved into my house, this plant was upside down inside of a washing machine basin. No sun, no water, hideous conditions. I made the mistake of putting it in a proper pot.

This plant, an asparagus fern, knows no pain. I didn't water it for an entire year, but it didn't care. It grows like no one's business. It is unstopable. I have to trim and hack it back to keep my backyard from becoming overrun. I give it haircuts.

I used a hacksaw to cut off the bottom of the root ball because I replanted it this morning. To further prove that this plant is impervious to everything, I'd like to point out that I realized there isn't actually any DIRT in the pot anymore. Only roots.

Seriously, if you take this root ball and just spit on it, you will have a hugeantic asparagus fern in a matter of moments. It grows mega fast. It doesn't care about sun exposure. My dogs chew on it, but it manages to regenerate within seconds.

I can't have 2 of them in my backyard. I fear they will develop the ability to communicate and take over my neighbourhood.

Please take the rootball away and grow your own superman plant. Amaze your friends. I'll even give you a faux terra cotta pot for it. For clarification, the black pot with the plant in it is MY superman plant. The plant you get is the sad looking root ball on the grass. But don't be fooled. In 2 weeks you'll have a plant that looks just like mine. *shudder*

I fear for my life. Please hurry.

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